Inside the head of an Ex drug dealer: Entry 006


I see people getting trapped on the daily, falling into the same cycles that some of us break and learn from and swear to never go back to. On the daily people are digging themselves in a hole that gets deeper and deeper and hard to get out of. At first its all fun and games, its social, its fun, its entertaining. Everyone is kicking back and having fun while getting a buzz, everyones laughing and having a good time, it seems to be one of the best moments in your life. you get a buzz, a rush and its the best feeling ever. You stay up all night talking about whatever, sometimes crap but its all good because you have not a worry in a world, all the people around you are like your brothers you love them and would do anything for them. You start making money off your friends habits and they act like your really good friends, you give them drugs on tick and tell them to pay you whenever. You make lots of money and you see it as an avenue to a nice car, house, money, savings.

But fast forward five years it becomes draining, it consumes you and slowly killing you inside. You don’t trust anyone because people have messed you around so many times its not even funny or a game. If someone owes you money- they owe you money and if they don’t pay you back its not just about the money but the respect and disrespect they show you by not paying you on time, its a massive spit in the face and a big fuck you. All the friends that you thought were brothers turn into venomous snakes trying to score a free hit off you whenever. You don’t trust no one, you wont leave drugs or money around anymore because you don’t trust no one because in this game anybody will steal from you, anybody will cut you short or pinch out the bag to get a buzz. You keep getting taken advantage of and you hate every fucking scumbag around you, every time someone calls you its for something, every time your around someone wants something for free all of a sudden you feel like you are being used but also trapped because its good money but when you look even closely your good friends, your brothers have turned into seedy, junkie scumbags that you can’t  trust anymore.
One of your brothers/ close friends steals from you and denies it when you know he did?
No one is themselves in this game
Your brothers and friends turn selfish

You turn selfish

You don’t even know who you are anymore because you would break someones arm over $100

What do you do?

Do you change?

Do you throw in the towel and quit?

Do you continue getting paranoid?

Do you continue living on this path?

Its hard and yes it’s the hardest thing i have ever done in my life and it will be one of the hardest things you will have to do as well its not easy at all but you have to want this change for you, this lifestyle doesn’t lead to any good, look around you, do you know anyone that is truly happy in that lifestyle. As the years roll over it turns more and more into hell and you see and know it gets worst. You have to live a better life there is a life out there waiting to be lived by someone with your true potential. Go and live the life you deserve because this right now is not living. Go and LIVE, do the research, seek help but also seek within and you will know what it is exactly what you desire. LIVE your life NOW not in ten years when it is almost taken away from you.

Stepping away is really hard but once you start living a life that serves your purpose, you will be fulfilled and content in so many ways that is rewarding. Everything you have gone through will one day give you the knowledge and power to save another persons life. Everything in life happens for a reason so use it as power to move and step forward in your life.

Glenn Munso
Youth YOU Program.